My destination...

2009-07-07T13:01:00.004+03:00

Rainbow

I've just came back from the very first Lithuanian Rainbow (More...).
Went there very accidentally, but seems it was exactly the thing I was missing and looking for a very very very very long time.

Some irreversible changes have been made.

2009-05-24T23:00:00.004+03:00

Nr.24

2009-05-12T20:26:00.004+03:00

Music is what feelings sound like

Love
Happiness
Sorrow
Hate
Pain
Anger
...

The music you listen says a lot about you, more then you could imagine. And I like to read it, to read "messages" people leave/send/receive by listening particular pieces. Tons of information is floating just in the air! Communication!

Damn, it's just like plum juice with ice for the hangover...

Here is the first part of my special songs which touched my soul somehow.
Little piece of myself.
Enjoy!

1. Blank & Jones - Face a la mer

Current Nr.1

2. David Bowie - Heroes

One of my favorite male singers. Dude with style.

3.Herbert - Cafe de Flore (Ghost in the shell)

Like one blonde dude once said "It's like a great combination of tragedy, melodic twist of soul and a happy simple walk trough life base".Touching.

4. Santana feat. Chad Kroeger - Into the night

Some songs reminds some special moments with special people. This one is exactly like this. The Neverland story.

5.Gund'n'Roses - Paradise city

Rock'n'Roll! Good for a gray day in the city.

P.s. There is no any kind of order here.

Enjoy.

Kruops

2009-03-23T22:26:00.002+02:00

"to me, you're still nothing more than a little boy
who's just like a hundred thousand other little boys.

And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I'm nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes.

But if you tame me, then we shall need each other...
To me, you'll be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world …"

From "The Little Prince" by Antoine de St. Exupery.

My favorite chapter from the book I read then I feel lost in this world, then colors are not bright enough around me, then people talk too loud or too much.

2009-02-05T00:20:00.009+02:00

Who is who?

Past days were pretty casual:
Waking up pretty early (shhhh Audra:P),
coffee,
no breakfast,
coffee&cig again,
easy *marathon* uni-bank-work-bla-bank-bla-bla-bla with Pearl Jam and Larkin Grim in the ears.
Nice.
Late lunch with boss and some colleagues.
Meeting with boss.
Traditional Wednesday's *ople beer* thing in Konradas.
Saying bye to Aurelijus again (amigo leaving to Spain for Erasmus).
Saying hi to Jura (new intern from Ukraine in AIESEC Kaunas).
Home.

Sounds easy and fine. But only sounds. Where is the error?
Oh well.
All the days I was surrounded by people, colleagues, friends, good friends, very good friends, strangers...
Don't want go to the details, but the main question is "Who is who, dear Kruopa?".
Like, who is honest, and who has two faces and just waiting to stab you in the back...?One or another way.

Hate then things comes to this question. But oh well, it did this time. And the person I used to trust a lot is involved.

It's easy to re-build a wall, but the trust..?

Goodnight.
Kruops (in some deep thinking mood)

2009-01-16T23:39:00.007+02:00

The Year 2008

Inspired by my good friend Audra's blog entry, I've asked myself the other day:

"Hey, Kruopa, if somebody once would ask you, what happened in your life in the year 2008, what would you say?"

Hmmmm...I would say:

"Oh well, I came back from my life changing Erasmus in Alicante (Spain) in February. Yeah, I am counting 2008 from February.."

"My parents moved out and I started to live on my own, jeij!"

"Mr.Devil (cute black cat) came to my apartment and life, muuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

"I was on holidays 4 times (for a week or longer):
1.Hitchhiking in Spain and visiting Berlin with Agne (July)
2.Relaxing time in Zakopane (Poland) Tatra mountains (August)
3.Inspiring week in Warshaw (December)
4.New Year trip to Berlin and Neverland.(December/January)

"I've met alot of nice people, I made some friends, and some some really good ones.."

"Hmmm, let me think.."

"Life paths with some people got separated...sad"

"I didn't quit smoking, naah"

"I made a big step in learning the most important lesson of my life - living my dream"

"I've improved my languages skills"

"I...."

...and some moments or special people from the Year 2008.

2009-01-09T20:21:00.006+02:00

Visiting Neverland

Came back on Wednesday.
Fall asleep in a plane to Riga...woke up then it was landing in Kaunas.Oh yes..Thank you, bad air conditions.

Kaunas - Warsaw - Berlin - Amsterdam - Düsseldorf - Kaunas

9 days.

1431km by autostop
497km by train
1516km by plane

Nice New Year celebration in Berlin.With people who inspire and are not afraid to be themselves.
Top phrase:"Behave what you say"

December 29th.
Amazing feeling of almost almost almost..
Old hippie is mrrrrrring in the pub of Neverland.

December 30th.
8:00am, -7C, close to IX forth.
Easy and funny hhiking to Warsaw.
Very nice time at Agas&Mons.

21:17pm Nightwish - I wish I had an angel in the air, colours and tea with honey. Uncomfortable sleep in the train to Polish/German boarder.

12:00am Rox flat in Berlin.Waiting for Aga and Mon.

21:00 pre-NY

December 31th.
NY.

January 1th.
After-NY

January 2d.
7:00am Snowing in Berlin,fui.
Ubahn is punctual as always.
Found another hitchhiker on the road - Roma from Russia. We cooperate and hitchhike to Amsterdam together (in 10hours, including all the coffee and pie breaks).Jeij!
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...last cigarette together, and he goes home and me to central station...almost almost.

After 25min.
"hey..."
"..."
(hug)

January 3th, 4th, 5th, 6th.
Onze tijd in Neverland

January 6th.
9:00am, -6C, sunny and unbelievably nice day..
Lelystad - Düsseldorf.
Bar tour in Düsseldorf with Zaubii, laughing till tears...beer and nice conversations.
Sleepless night, airport 4:00am..plane.Home.

Amazing feeling to do what I want and feel, living my dream.
To be honest with myself and those who are close.
The ones whom you feel even from big distance..

On the road again...

2008-12-29T00:52:00.002+02:00

Oh well.

Some hours and will be on the road again ... thumbing to the West (Berlin and Neverland maybe..)
Coming back in a week, or so.

The journey seems to be the perfect way to start... New year, new me, new...
We'll see what happens.

Take care.
Kruopa

Su Šv.Kalėdom, Merry Christmas, Vrolijk Kerstfeest, Joyeux Noel, Feliz Navidad

2008-12-26T00:33:00.005+02:00

Jeij...so this is Christmas...

I wish you to find love and peace in your heart.
Braveness to live your dream and..

!!!Hey!!!

Don't forget to use imagination to color your life, my friend.

Take care.
Kruopa

The Song

2008-11-06T21:03:00.006+02:00

I wake up and fall asleep with this one for more then a week now.

This autumn and This song - one and the same.

Enjoy.

Autumn

2008-10-14T00:28:00.004+03:00

So nice, so warm, so cozy, so perfect Autumn this year.

Laiškas

2008-09-30T23:01:00.002+03:00

" Nerašau aš Tau,žinai tai, ir žinai kodėl. Norėčiau išrėkti, išrėkti viską...arba išpiešti, taip, geriau išpiešti, gyvenimą.

O gyvenu kaip manų košėj.. Tai verdu tai sustingstu. O skonis tikriausiai nekoks, mano. Nenoriu valgyt, bet kasrytą vistiek paspringstu..savimi. Kaip slyvos kauliuku, skaudžiai.

O upė teka, srovė neša, jauti ?

Jūra jūra, esi man atsakymai. Ir nejaučiu šalčio tada. Labiau skęstu, o dar net ne pavasaris. Arba arba.

Sako, tai, ką ištari balsu, turi galios būti. O aš net šnibždėt neturiu jėgų.

O upė teka...visada

Aš esu ji, o jos man kartais per daug, todėl piešiu po truputį. Rūpinkis savimi. Aš taip pat, ačiū.

"Prakeikiu tave, nes nesi nei šalta, nei karšta. O, kad būtum šalta ar karšta. Bet esi drungna, todėl išspjausiu Tave iš savo burnos."

Žinai, nenoriu būt kaip miltai ir vanduo, be druskos. Tai ne duona.

O upe teka..jauti ?

Tikiu tuo, ką sakau, ir esu tuo ką sakau". Man nereikia, žmonių būti su savim. Man reikia Tavęs. Ir savęs.Aš visada Tave atpažįstu iš akių. O mano akys dangus. Tik tu neužsimerk, prašau...net tada kai šviesu.

Ir upė teka..vėl

Kaip gatvinis balandis bėgu paskui kiekvieną Tavo trupinį.. Tikėdamas, kad tai pradžia bandelės. O gal..
O gal nenubaidys? O gal net nepaspirs? Neee, pieno tikrai nepasiūlys. Gi tu pieno nemėgsti.

Ir tada būna cigaretė. O gi atsakymai skelbimų lentoj neiškabinami..

Ir tada būna cigaretė vėl..

(ne)myliu. "

(Ispanija, Alicantė)

Šūdas

2008-09-30T23:00:00.000+03:00

Vanduo. Kranas seniai neveikia. Kapt, pirmas lašas...ir toliau nebeskaičiuoju. Kam? Tau jie nematomi, o man savęs ir taip..taip gana.

Pernai sirgau angina, siaubingai spaudė gerklę. Gėriau vaistų. Dabar irgi spaudžia, tik anginos nėra. Ar aš vistiek sergu? Uf, spaudžia taip tikrai, kad net baisu, kad tai gali būti rimta.

Atrodo, kad jei apie tai daug negalvosi, nesureikšminsi, tai ir nebus rimta. Bet ne, kartais bus, kartais yra, kaip ir dabar.

Šlykščiausia tai, kad puikiai suprantu kas man. O norėtųsi tiesiog anginos, ir vaistų.

x x x

Man negera. Yra vienas žmogus, kurio buvimas šalia man padėtų. Tik jis negali sau to leisti. Jis įsipareigojęs. Jis gal ir norėtų... Kaip sunku, kai žmonės nešneka. Man tai mirtini nuodai...

Kai žmonės, slėpdami savo kompleksus, nepasitikėjimus savimi ir dar ten visokius š... priverčia kitą žmogų jaustis šūdinai.

Taip taip, mano pastarųjų dienų top žodis - šūdas. Ir nebūtinai čia reik raukytis, kad negražu keiktis. Nieko panašaus...
Ne keiksmažodis čia man, tiesiog žodis.

Man nepatinka, kai manęs gailisi. Man sunku būt silpnai..Tokia jau ąš - stipri (žmonės taip sako), o aš tokia turiu būti.

Norėčiau po dušu, kuris nuplautų visų klaunadų,cirkų, pasirodymų grimą...amžiams.

Ir vėl vanduo, sūrus ir deginantis. Jaučiuos sugniuždyta...ir deja tai tiesa.

x x x

čia mano.

Nuostabu turėti sesę.(Aš turiu)

2008-09-30T22:59:00.002+03:00

Nuostabu turėti sesę.(Aš turiu)

"Žinai, norėčiau, kad išklausytum mane rimtai. Išskaitytum čia mano šypseną ir ašaras, suprastum, kada pačiam reik užsirūkyt.

Kai matėmės paskutinį kartą, tu vėl bandei peržengt jau nustatytas ribas. Vos vos, bet bandei.O tarėmės...

Man nepatinka taip. Nepatinka, kai manimi nori pasinaudot. Ir dar tu.. Tikiu žmonėm kurie klauso, o tu ir vėl skubėjai, net kava nespėjo atšalt.

Vieni vartai.Tu net nežinojai, kad turiu sesę.Ir dabar tikriausiai nežinai (nebent TIKRAI perskaitei bent pirmą sakinį).

Aš mėgstu liesti žmones (tuos, kuriuos jaučiu). Tu nesileidi. Man tai nenatūralu ir aš pradedu darytis abejinga. Net gaila.

Tu man nieko nesakai. Ničnieko. Tik naujienas, kaip is delfio. Kas ką su kuo ... Nieko nuo savęs, nieko tokio, ko nesakytum savo kirpėjai.

Labiausiai aš nesuprantu, ko tu iš manęs nori.
Man patinka gyventi ir ramiai."

P.s. Skirta ne sesei. Sesę aš myliu.

Narkomanė

2008-09-30T22:59:00.001+03:00

Nevaldoma priklausomybė nuo gyvenimo. Didelės,
nereguliarios dozės."Lomkės" poto.

Nerišli kalba, apie norus, svajones, tikslus ir planus.
Energijos perteklius ir visiškas išsekimas.

Staigūs, beprotiškai spontaniški žingsniai.Šypsena pro
ašaras, ir Kings Of Convenience.

Apie kavą ir cigaretes aš nesakysiu nieko. Tai ne
procesas, tai būsena.

Lietuje aš neverkiu. Akis jis man išplauna.Žodžiai praranda prasmę.
Nuspalvint noris kiekvieną, esanti šalia. Žali, geltoni, juodi būna
mano sapnai, kai bandau kalbėtis. Lytis nesvarbu.

Sex free land

Saulės užtemimas

2008-09-30T22:58:00.001+03:00

Brolis sakė, kad tai jis kaltas. O, žmogau, ar gali paprastas užtemimas būt kaltas dėl to, kad žmonės nemoka būti kartu? Lyg braškių uogienę galėtum apkaltint dėl globalinio atšilimo...

Kiti gali. Aš ne. Mėgstu daiktus vadinti jų tikraisiais vardais, ir tai nevisad taip lengva.

Žinau, daugelį dalykų dramatizuoju, priimu asmeniškai, per jautriai reaguoju. Bet ir kitaip nemoku.

Jaučiu, kad manimi naudojasi. Ir pati tai leidžiu. Aš visad suteikiu žmogui šancą ir tik tada rėžiu tiesiai.

Tik tak tik tak.

Su meile.

Some moments

2008-02-20T14:39:00.004+02:00

Home sweet home.
Yes, I'm in Lithuania. Came back from my Spain, my Alicante, my Erasmus.

***

Miss lots of things, found lots of new things here, feel lost, a bit melancholic.

***

Just need to found out where I am now.

Some moments of my current life...

2008-01-07T18:27:00.000+02:00

Pictures :)

2007-12-10T00:42:00.000+02:00

http://picasaweb.google.com/kukuruzas

Enjoy :)

P.s. Mostly Kruopa in Alicante (Spain)

Changes

2007-08-13T14:40:00.002+03:00

Some time passed since the last time I was here.
Damn. Shame on me.

What happened in my life:

Other time: was working for www.pokernews.com.
Studying spanish (secretly).

July

Fun fun fun with Stefka and co.

Other time still was working for www.pokernews.com and and..Arabian night at Audra's place where IT happened (I had small accident with hammock and broke my shoulder:)). Bye bye swimming, dancing... hello broken shoulder:)

August
Yooohoo! I'm free from gypsum:) I can move and taka a shower normally!:) Happy happy!
Studying spanish (secretly).
Preaparing for Spain...lol.

And I'm here .
And Changes are around me. Happy happy! First of all, my living place....in two weeks I'm leaving to Alicante (Spain), for my Erasmus, for half a year. So, you are welcome there!

My friends, people I know and people around me...
Somebody left, somebody I kicked out(somebody still doesn't know this), somebody already came and somebody will come to my life. And that's good, that's life. Like standing in a long queue for LIFE, and hoping THERE you'll get it... no way! Forget it.

Me

2007-06-06T20:20:00.000+03:00

My summer

2007-06-01T17:42:00.001+03:00

Happy birthday

2007-05-25T00:10:00.000+03:00

I'm back

2007-04-29T13:02:00.000+03:00

I'm back. Some time have passed since it was last time I wrote something here.

I feel need and wish again, and I there are some things to tell :)

Post by post I'll tell you.

Kruopa

Moments of Life

2007-01-23T00:44:00.000+02:00

Novisad (Serbia)

Athens

Street art in Sarajevo.

Happy family :)

Sleepy friend in Thessaloniki :)

Beutiful monrning in Sofia.

Sofia.

Mountains in Bosnia.

Nobody stopped fo a long time :)

Sarajevo.

Boissoara (Romania)

Boissoara (Romania)

Serbia.

Boissoara (Romania)

Belgrade

Boissoara (Romania)